Welcome to the second week of our month-long Elul writing. If you missed last week’s intro, let me suggest that you take a look at the post for Week 1 to help support your writing and to see last week’s prompts.
This week our prompts will center on relationships to family and friends. A primary concern of much of my poetry has been an attempt to understand how my life intertwines with others, perhaps never more so than in my newest book, Longing, poems of a life.
As I look ahead to the next two weeks, I want to remind you of what’s coming down the pike – the third week focuses on tikkun olam; and the fourth and final week explores the High Holiday liturgy.
May your courage and openness be strengthened by this Elul work and may it be a hallmark of your day to day life and spiritual practice in the coming year!
Week 2 prompts [Note: This week includes many prompts - they may take you through to Yom Kippur! But considering that our reflective period of cheshbon hanefesh, the accounting of the soul, doesn’t conclude until the gates close after Neilah, that doesn’t seem excessive. Each time you visit these prompts, be attentive to what jumps out at you and start there.]
~ Consider the poem in this week’s video, “Recognizing a moment of happiness” from my book Finding Words. Remember, tell the story of, a moment ordinary or a moment extraordinary in your own life this past year, one of deep connection, a moment when you felt especially blessed by the relationship with a loved one: What were the circumstances, the details, of that relational moment? [Note: I keep a special little box on the desk in my study, with pieces of paper recording random “blessings” bestowed on me by dear ones or one-time encounters; good to read through in moments of sadness or loneliness. Consider keeping a record of such moments for yourself.]
follow-up – Reflect on that experience – did you do something to help make that happen? How might you be attentive to creating more such moments in the coming year?
~ Some of our relationships may lack or have lost balance - as you care for others in your life, consider what boundaries would bring you some ease. When you are giving so much, how might you sometimes prioritize your own needs and who can support you in realizing and maintaining this resolution?
~ To whom do you feel grateful this year? Who has shown you compassion, kindness – a word, an embrace, a sign of appreciation or support? Remember and describe the goodness of others who have helped you through the year. How might you show your gratitude?
~Recall also your own goodness this past year – what are special kindnesses you have shown to others? How can you cultivate that inner goodness as you go forward? Think back to one of last week’s prompts about self-care and know that kindness to one’s self increases the capacity to be tender with others.
~ Think of your family and closest friends: are you conscious of ways in which you may have harmed any of them, caused them pain this year, fallen short of the mark? How? What is the regret or guilt you feel toward this person? What do you want the relationship to be like? What can you do to make amends, how do you need to change, turn?
~ Has someone aggrieved you this year? How did they hurt you? Do you want to continue this relationship, and if so, what do you want the relationship to be like? What do you need from them to support repair? Is there something you can do to help bring about that change, healing, justice, reconciliation?
follow-up – Perhaps that won’t be possible, perhaps not even appropriate – if so, how might you find some modicum of acceptance or peace and move on?
Most difficult of all in reviewing a year coming to an end is having lost a loved one. Navigating the mourning process can be like struggling to survive a tempestuous sea without life raft or compass. As we write from brokenness, pain, rage, grief, we reach toward understanding, reconciliation, acceptance, healing. Here are just two modest prompts:
~ What unfinished conversation might you have with this person, and what might you like to tell them?
~ What of this person do you want to carry forward with you into the new year?
Blessings on your journey.