Week 4

I hope that this fourth week of writing will be filled with discovery and insight, and that you will be cumulatively enriched by the good hard spiritual work you’ve done this month “showing up for the page.” I encourage you to continue mining these Elul prompts in the weeks ahead during the Yamim Noraim. 

May you be blessed in this new year and may you go from strength to strength!

Prompts for Week 4

~ What do you need this year from your holiday experience? It’s likely that some of your time will be spent in synagogue - how will your celebration be enhanced by participation in particular community/ies? What home experiences , what festive meals, are you looking forward to and how might you plan ahead ways of sharing gratitude together? moments of deep conversation about the year that has passed? What solitary time for introspection might you build into your plans? Are there new rituals you might create for yourself, for family, friends, community? 

~The shofar blasts evoke multiple meanings: In ancient times, the blasts were a call to our people who dwelled in separate camps to gather, to come together as one community. Then and now, fundamental conflicts pulled us apart – it has always been hard to sit together in unity and mutual respect. Understanding that, are there ways you might see to bridge differences in the people Israel, in your own particular community? Is there someone in a “different camp,” someone with whom you nonetheless share concerns and commitments, with whom you might open a conversation?

~I have always heard in the shofar blasts the animal cry of “the wounded beast,” cracking our hearts open to teshuvah/repentance. It is a primal call waking us from our slumber.  Can you identify your spiritual somnolence?  What seems to cause it?How can you tell when you are sleepwalking? Who in your life will help rouse you when they see you fall asleep? 

~A central theme of Rosh Hashanah focuses on Zichronot/remembrances of loss. In a “normal” year, we may mourn a beloved who has died; a relationship that ended, badly or well; a hope or dream whose time has irrevocably passed and needs to be honored. Within the intimate circles of your family and friends, what has been one very particular, powerful loss you have experienced this year? Tell the story – how have you mourned? how have you changed? Sometimes it is possible to find healing, a sense of peace, sometimes the loss never fully heals. What need for healing remains?

~In addition, this year we mourn together the vast and unspeakable tragedies of October 7th. Never in my lifetime have I felt so flooded by waves of grief, and then the aftershocks of that grief, facing an uncertain future. As part of the people Israel, how have the events of October 7th reverberated within you? Do you have others with whom you can talk about your relationship to Israel? civilian losses in Gaza and on the West Bank? What waves of grief have you felt moving through the year?

~ On Rosh Hashanah the liturgy invites us to experience images of God as Creator. We celebrate the birth of the world, welcome new life, are attuned to, pray for, the birth of new hope. What new world/s can you envision in the coming year? Allow yourself to fantasize, be playful, dream.

follow-up – Consider the ways in which you are a creator – what is your creative life and what do you want it to be? How can you infuse your daily life with freshness, with wonder? What new interest, new passion, will keep your brain alive and supple this year?

~ Identify one or two people in your life who can serve as teachers/mentors for you – perhaps a rabbi, a spiritual director, a counselor, a friend, a loved one – choose one or two individuals and schedule regular time to meet with them.  When you feel ready, discuss with them your hopes for yourself this year, your fears, your concerns, your goals.  Invite them to listen, to witness, to support your desire to be your truest self in the coming year.

~ Write a tefillat haderech for yourself - a traveling prayer for the road - for the journey of this new year.

* *

It has been a privilege to lead on your behalf, to support your efforts to create a meaningful spiritual framework as you move into a new year. I’ve enjoyed guiding you and invite you to use the Contact page to offer feedback on “Elul, a time for turning” - What was especially meaningful and why? How often did you write and in what other ways did you engage with the materials? Did you wind up writing with a partner or a group? What did you struggle with? How might this program be of greater help to you?

If these weekly offerings have provided you with sustenance, please make a donation on this site to Derekh to support my work on this program and my ongoing mentorship of rabbis across denominations throughout the year.

Let me recommend as a parting gift another writing program on this site, Writing in the Paradigm of Prayer.  If you’ve enjoyed this approach as accompaniment through Elul, I think you will find my daily writing prompts worthwhile as well.  Please be in touch with questions, feedback or just to check in and say hello. 

I end with gratitude. I am deeply appreciative of our webmaster, Rabbi Lisa Feld, for all she provided to birth this project and for her support on all aspects of Derekh – her competence, patience, counsel, kindness and creativity are unparalleled, all the more so as she is busy preparing to lead her own congregation, Congregation B’nai Tikvah in Canton, MA through the Yamim Noraim.

Shana tova umetuka. May we all be inscribed and sealed for a sweet new year of health, of peace, of promise and fulfillment!

Week 3

In the many years of offering this four week Elul course, I’ve kept the same format: week 1, a time for personal soul-searching; week 2, prompts to help navigate relationships with the many circles of others in our lives - close friends and family, community members, work colleagues; and week 4, an encounter with High Holiday liturgical themes. The third week has always been devoted to reflecting on our engagement with social justice, tikkun olam, literally the repair of the world. It’s not surprising that this year, surveying the world and the need for repair is by far the most difficult of the four weeks of Elul for me. Every day I’ve created a plan for week 3 on this site, generated prompts, and then deleted them. I am full of empathy and respect for those of you who are rabbis and leaders who are responsible for carrying a congregation through the Days of Awe to the other side. Nothing seems good enough, not nearly. But I need to offer my best version of not good enough.

What have I learned in the past 35 years about tikkun olam/repairing the world?

1-It can take many forms, depending on what your talents are and what you most care about helping to repair.

2-We can’t tackle every important issue, there are too many, so carefully choose the best project for you in this moment in time and then trust that as you work for the good of others, others are working for the good of you.

3-It’s important to have a vision, but make clusters of goals to work toward; break down the work into incremental steps.

4-You need to find mentors, friends, colleagues with whom to work, to learn from, to support, to lift you when you fall, or to sit with on the ground and cry.

5-Laughter is everything. It sustains you when you’ve lost all hope.

6-What you can do changes with your circumstances, stage of life, energy level, health. Don’t judge yourself for what you can’t do and then give up and do nothing.

7-You’ll never know everything you need to know about the broken places in the world. Make your peace with a path of learning as you go along.

8-Most important – next to laughter – practice listening.

Prompts for week 3

(1) - Entering the Conversation

~ Tell a story from your childhood or adolescence about someone in your life who, positively or negatively, modeled a way to interface with the problems in the world. What did you learn from them? How do you carry that person with you now?

~ Perhaps later on, when you were already an adult, you witnessed someone up close who made you rethink what you were capable of, what was possible, who inspired you through friendship and by example to move into unchartered territory, into the possibilities of activism. Who was that? Describe them and tell the story.

~Maybe like me, you’ve had multiple incarnations of work repairing the world. Tell another story from a different part of your life. Who were the people who were pivotal in those projects? What were the new circumstances that opened for you? What had changed in your life or in your world to inspire different commitments? What did you learn? How did you grow? [Feel free to respond to this prompt more than once.]

(2) - Getting Proximate to the Problem

Get proximate to the problem. Get close to the things that matter, get close to the places where there is inequality and suffering, get close to the spaces where people feel oppressed, burdened, and abused… See what it does to your capacity to make a difference, see what it does to you.

Bryan Stevenson, founder and Executive Director of Equal Justice Initiative; initiator of the National Memorial for Peace and Justice in Montgomery AL

~ When have you gotten “proximate to the problem” - in the past? this year? What was “the problem”?  What qualities of yours allowed you to get close?  What happened? Were you able to make an impact, to foster change? What good came of that?

~Who were some of the people you met who you might never have otherwise known? What did you learn?

~If your effort did not bear fruit, how do you assess the effort? How did you change, grow?

~ When have you felt an impulse to get “close to a problem” but wound up feeling unable to do so? What were the obstacles? What did you learn from this experience?  Notice if there’s a punishing or judgmental tone – can you tell the story from the place of compassion? 

(3) - Choosing Your Ground

~ Consider the dizzying range of local, national and global problems. What is one particular issue/need that feels most compelling for you in this moment? Working on the national or local political scene? climate change? LGBTQ rights? prison and sentencing reform? women’s rights to control their own bodies? Some of us have been standing together to bring home hostages; some have demonstrated to end massive civilian deaths in Gaza and now on the West Bank, to end the Occupation…

When choosing what to devote significant time and energy to, avoid the “should’s,” the causes that are of course vital but really not your particular passion. It’s important to declare some priorities, to feel called to what you’re doing so you‘ll have staying power - you can’t spread yourself too thin.

~ Now consider your particular strengths: calm in a storm? energetic? long-term strategist? focus on the here and now? tech skills? deep listener? creative problem solver? coalition builder? eloquent writer? connections to media? an understanding of the legislative process? fiery speaker? past experience or training in one of the above issues?  I suddenly realize considering this prompt that one of my great assets has been earning the trust of others, caring for people, creating an atmosphere of safety and respect.

Respond to this prompt by digging deep to begin connecting how you might creatively harness your innate strengths to contribute to tikkun olam in one particular area of concern. Where and how can you make a contribution most inherent to you at your best?

(4) - Finding Mentors and Partners

~ I doubt that efforts to address societal problems can meet with much success when undertaken solo. How might you identify a mentor or colleague?

I realize considering this question that in a long succession of projects and partners through the years, collaboration always began with friendship and mutual respect. These were people I felt at ease with, could be myself, and without fail, they were people who relished a good laugh as much as I did.

~What might you hope to do with a friend or colleague? How might you begin a conversation with someone you admire to explore collaborating?

Here’s a poem about just such a friend, as committed and fiery a changemaker as I have ever know.

Not yet 75, Ruth

 In November 2008, an interfaith group of forty Americans traveled to Israel and the West Bank to support the work of Rabbis for Human Rights.  We visited Israeli and Palestinian human rights and social justice programs and planted trees at various sites in solidarity with peace initiatives. 

Striding toward the far end of the rocky field,
the olive sapling balanced on her hip—
about the same heft as an eighteen month old—
she surveys the difficult terrain, the raw
November morning, then exercises patience
as she waits her turn for the pick.

She remembers another time, another world,
remembers what it was like to be here then,
working the soil in an infant country,
full of dreams and prayers and innocence.

A full lifetime of striding, balancing life
on her hip, looking for the places to plant life,
life that longs only to be planted and to grow. 
Unbelievable, she thinks, that anyone fights
over this soil impervious to shovels, soil
that resists even a pick and a strong stubborn back.

And now, her turn, she digs.  Rhythmically
the pick rises and falls, slowly persistence
is rewarded, the hole finally deep and wide enough,
she places the olive sapling in the earth.

But all the hard years have taught her
physical straining is just the beginning
of planting a tree.  She stands and waits
for the song and the prayer to rise within her
then tears come too, tears of sorrow
and pain, tears of hope, fierce love.

What more have the hard years taught her?
Be on the lookout for what needs to be done
and for partners—the only hope is shoulder to shoulder;
surrender to the work, persist, especially in rocky soil;

don’t give in, don’t give up, don’t give out
and don’t get sentimental—it’s a waste of time;
always at the end, listen for the prayer, the prayer that rises
within, listen for the prayer of thanksgiving and the prayer
of supplication—thank you God for the strength to do this work,
thank you God for returning me to this beloved place;

please God, nurture this tender sapling,
grant it long life, let it bear much fruit.
And please God, see our suffering, hear our cries,
help us to find each other—isn’t it time yet for peace?

The raw morning is warming.  She turns back toward
the truck, striding to bring the next sapling.

©Merle Feld, Finding Words (Behrman House 2011)

~ Now that I’ve reached the age of Ruth in this poem (she herself turned 90 this year), I feel my respect for and awe of her multiplied manyfold. As a result of long Covid, I’m simply no longer blessed with vigorous health, able to “strid[e] toward the far end of the rocky field, the olive sapling balanced on [my] hip.” If you feel yourself to be, like me, slowed down by age or by compromised health, explore in writing how you can continue to embody your still fierce commitments to repair the world. A few opening ideas: as ally; as funder and/or fundraiser; as mentor; as consultant; as writer; as recruiter; as volunteer office staff; as spokesperson; as protester…

(5) - Self-care

Participants on this site span a wide range of identities. Some of you are just starting to experience yourselves as activists, fired up by injustice, getting in the game for maybe the first time, while others have perhaps been on the ramparts all along, heartbroken now to see the efforts of decades go up in smoke before our very eyes. And then everyone in between.

~What we all have in common here, regardless of our stage of life and activism, is a need to sometimes rest, replenish our resources. How? Where do you find your sources of strength and renewal? How do you protect yourself from burnout in a world on fire? Make a list. Add to your list. Post your list somewhere in the house where you can easily see it, every day. Email your list to this Elul site and I’ll post it so others can benefit from your ideas.

My list, a work in progress: sitting on the porch which is encased in wisteria vines, feeling peaceful and complete; calling a friend; streaming old TV shows, ones that have no terrible endings; eating apples, apricots, cashews, avoiding junk food; going for walks in my rural neighborhood; music on the car radio; reading in bed; taking mental health breaks from the news…

Besides sharing your lists of self-care, please also email stories of your activism - what you accomplished, how you were impacted; or, if you accomplished nothing, how you tried. In other words, let’s give each other ideas this week.

May your courage and openness be strengthened by this Elul work and may it be a hallmark of your day-to-day life and spiritual practice in the coming year!

Week 2

Welcome to the second week of our month-long Elul writing. If you missed last week’s intro, let me suggest that you take a look at the post for Week 1 to help support your writing and to see last week’s prompts.

This week our prompts will center on relationships to family and friends. A primary concern of much of my poetry has been an attempt to understand how my life intertwines with others, perhaps never more so than in my newest book, Longing, poems of a life.

As I look ahead to the next two weeks, I want to remind you of what’s coming down the pike – the third week focuses on tikkun olam; and the fourth and final week explores the High Holiday liturgy.

May your courage and openness be strengthened by this Elul work and may it be a hallmark of your day to day life and spiritual practice in the coming year!

Week 2 prompts [Note: This week includes many prompts - they may take you through to Yom Kippur! But considering that our reflective period of cheshbon hanefesh, the accounting of the soul, doesn’t conclude until the gates close after Neilah, that doesn’t seem excessive. Each time you visit these prompts, be attentive to what jumps out at you and start there.]

~ Consider the poem in this week’s video, “Recognizing a moment of happiness” from my book Finding Words. Remember, tell the story of, a moment ordinary or a moment extraordinary in your own life this past year, one of deep connection, a moment when you felt especially blessed by the relationship with a loved one: What were the circumstances, the details, of that relational moment? [Note: I keep a special little box on the desk in my study, with pieces of paper recording random “blessings” bestowed on me by dear ones or one-time encounters; good to read through in moments of sadness or loneliness. Consider keeping a record of such moments for yourself.]

follow-up – Reflect on that experience – did you do something to help make that happen? How might you be attentive to creating more such moments in the coming year?

~ Some of our relationships may lack or have lost balance - as you care for others in your life, consider what boundaries would bring you some ease. When you are giving so much, how might you sometimes prioritize your own needs and who can support you in realizing and maintaining this resolution?

~ To whom do you feel grateful this year? Who has shown you compassion, kindness – a word, an embrace, a sign of appreciation or support? Remember and describe the goodness of others who have helped you through the year. How might you show your gratitude?

~Recall also your own goodness this past year – what are special kindnesses you have shown to others? How can you cultivate that inner goodness as you go forward? Think back to one of last week’s prompts about self-care and know that kindness to one’s self increases the capacity to be tender with others.

~ Think of your family and closest friends: are you conscious of ways in which you may have harmed any of them, caused them pain this year, fallen short of the mark?  How?  What is the regret or guilt you feel toward this person?  What do you want the relationship to be like?  What can you do to make amends, how do you need to change, turn? 

~ Has someone aggrieved you this year? How did they hurt you?  Do you want to continue this relationship, and if so, what do you want the relationship to be like? What do you need from them to support repair?  Is there something you can do to help bring about that change, healing, justice, reconciliation?

follow-up – Perhaps that won’t be possible, perhaps not even appropriate – if so, how might you find some modicum of acceptance or peace and move on?

Most difficult of all in reviewing a year coming to an end is having lost a loved one. Navigating the mourning process can be like struggling to survive a tempestuous sea without life raft or compass.  As we write from brokenness, pain, rage, grief, we reach toward understanding, reconciliation, acceptance, healing. Here are just two modest prompts:

~ What unfinished conversation might you have with this person, and what might you like to tell them? 

~ What of this person do you want to carry forward with you into the new year?

Blessings on your journey.

Week 1

Preparing for the Days of Awe

I begin with gratitude and a prayer that true words will flow, that I can help you as I have in the past, to find your own words.

A few suggestions –

Though many of you will prefer writing on your laptop or other devices, consider writing by hand. Computers go quickly, quickly; this writing is all about slowly, slowly, and writing by hand may help to slow you down and be more reflective. Both modes have worked for me.

When you are sitting with the prompt, listen carefully.  This writing is all about listening – listening to yourself.

Often the first response that comes to mind is the most fruitful.  Just relax and go with it even if you think it is odd.

Through long experience leading others in writing, I’d say 10 minutes is more or less the most fruitful amount of time to sit with a prompt and write. If you sit for less time, you probably haven’t mined as deeply as you can; more time is always an option if you’ve come upon a rich vein.

As you write, capture as clearly and precisely as you can what is true for you – no artifice, no disguises. 

Be specific, concrete; better to tell one story and go deep with it than to generalize or to skim over multiple examples.

Be on the lookout for strong images that come up, meaningful details. Be curious; follow the image and explore it even if you don’t quite understand why it’s important or where it is going.

Write in your first language; that is the best way to make a heart-connection through words. 

Once you are done writing, take a breath, read what you have written.  Do not criticize or judge – these are words from your heart that need to be valued, cherished and respected.

You may want to write down any questions that the writing has sparked for you.  You can return to those questions at another time for reflection and/or for continued writing. 

In some way, acknowledge to yourself the courage and openness you have brought to this work.

Prompts for Week 1

This first week centers on the self – when do I feel most alive? How have I been challenged and grown this year? How do I cultivate my inner life? engage in self-care?

~ Recall a situation, conjure an image of a time this past year when your best, fullest self was being expressed.  Maybe it was a public moment, an achievement, a story of risk or leadership, or maybe it was something small, subtle, a private moment only you were aware of, something shifting deep inside…  Tell the story, describe the situation, letting the details return to you in all their fullness….

 follow-up – Now reflect on why/how the best part of you came out in that situation.  What did you do to make that happen?  Were there other people or conditions that supported that flowering?

follow-up – Given that we all have many sides to who we are, what are other “best selves” of yours you’d like to see more often? In the coming year, how might you call forth more fully realized, enlivened aspects of “you”?

[Note: It can be fruitful to repeat this prompt, exploring a different moment, a different situation.]

~ Begin a conversation with yourself – “What are some of the questions I need to be asking myself in this season of turning in order to move toward a healthier, holier, happier life?”

~ What has been one particular challenge this year? (I know how hard it is to choose, but please, choose and focus on just one; again, remember, you can respond to this prompt more than once.)  What was hard about it for you?  How have you changed because of it? Has it offered an opportunity for you to grow? What new aspects or potentiality has it called forth from you?

~ How did you live in your body this year? Are there ways in which your body has been a source of delight? disappointment? strength? pain? Tell the story.  What do you need moving forward?

~ How have you cared for yourself this year? What kinds of activities have you been able to savor? Think expansively: it might be a time when you went walking on a nature trail, called together a circle of close friends to create a ritual for some liminal life event, did a good job of saying “no.”  How did you manage it?  How did it feel?  Or, describe how you allowed yourself a special afternoon or day or days to relish some longed-for place or time or experience.

follow-up – Make a list of all the ways you nourish yourself – things you do every day, things you do sometimes, rarely. Read your list over, notice what you’d like to increase.  What is your attitude toward self-care and what kinds of self-care are you hungry for? 

[Note - My intention for this program is to offer you a wide menu from which to choose, so if one of these prompts feels like “a full-course meal” all by itself, give yourself permission to spend the week delving into that particular prompt, each time encountering it anew and writing about a different experience. In other words, make yourself at home and use these materials as is best for you!]

Blessings to you on your journey!

Welcome

Preparing for the Days of Awe

As we all know, this year began in great pain, growing horror, trauma. And then waves of grief. We absorbed it, were overwhelmed, but had to move on, living our lives in split screen. And so we have been ever since, the normal day to day next to the unimaginable. Israel and Gaza in some kind of death spiral - how can we help to save them from themselves and from each other?

In Ukraine, as I write this, so much loss, bravery. Having spent weeks there on a book tour many years ago - what gifts that experience afforded me - I may take news of them more personally than most, but we all anxiously watch and hope democracy will prevail.

And here at home, we face an election, a crossroads that presents its own kind of terror. We look to see how we can be a force for good, how we can serve the good, because that’s what we do, we serve. Offering you this yearly invitation to reflect through writing, to move toward understanding, empowerment, and some measure of healing, is one of the ways I serve.

The Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the High Holidays, gives us time for reflection to review the past year. When the month begins [Tuesday evening, September 3] you will find on this site weekly guidance and writing prompts to help you do the spiritual work the season affords as you prepare for a new beginning. I hope as Elul unfolds, you will find in these weekly posts something of value to light your way into the new year.

How to find a way into writing once again? I say to myself, as I’ve said to others for decades now, start with something small, one small thing, and patiently listen for the details to emerge. That’s how to write about large things. What will the coming year hold for us? Do I have the capacity, can I find the opportunities, to be a force for good? How do I lead with wisdom and discernment? How do I sustain my own courage?

Some who may read these words are old friends, many are unknown to me – together, over the course of the next weeks, we’ll be exploring ever-widening circles of our lives. It’s like davening in a minyan – each of us on our own, but each quietly offering companionable energy to the others. You may prefer to undertake this Elul journey solo, but let me suggest that you might want to invite a friend to write with you, to bolster your own resolve, commitment, to engage with this work, to “show up to the page.” Along the way you can discern which are stories and questions and vision you might want to share.

In these weeks there will be time to expand, to reflect, to find words, to remember the year which is coming to an end, the events and people who were most important, to look back on them and puzzle out – What happened? Who was I in that moment? How did I turn that moment for the good? Or not? What needs attention, perhaps healing, in my closest relationships? There will be time to look inward and time to look outward – How am I living in my body?  Who am I in my community/ies, who do I want to be?  Do my day to day actions and occupations reflect my values, encourage my passion?   How am I engaged in the world?  What do I want to give, how do I want to help and participate in healing?  Prompts aplenty – enough to choose one a day; and don’t fret when you miss a day. As I am grateful for these words I’ve written, grateful to find my center again and the capacity to connect to it, I hope you will rest in gratitude for whatever words come through you.

One final word: In anticipation of using these materials and finding them valuable, please make an appropriate donation to Derekh.

My immeasurable gratitude to Rabbi Lisa Feld for her generous technical and editorial assistance in helping me offer these materials to you while balancing her own preparation to lead her congregants on the Yamim Noraim.