Preparing for the Days of Awe
As we all know, this year began in great pain, growing horror, trauma. And then waves of grief We absorbed it, were overwhelmed, and then had to move on, living our lives in split screen. And so we have been ever since, the normal day to day next to the unimaginable. Israel and Gaza in some kind of death spiral - how can we help to save them from themselves and from each other? In Ukraine, as I write this, so much loss, bravery. Having spent weeks there on a book tour many years ago - what gifts that experience afforded me - I may take news of them more personally than most, but we all anxiously watch and hope democracy will prevail. And here at home, we face an election, a crossroads that presents its own kind of terror. We look to see how we can be a force for good, how we can serve the good, because that’s what we do, we serve. Offering you this yearly invitation to reflect through writing, to move toward understanding, empowerment, and some measure of healing, is one of the ways I serve.
The Hebrew month of Elul, which precedes the High Holidays, gives us time for reflection to review the past year. When the month begins [Wednesday evening, September 4] you will find on this site weekly guidance and writing prompts to help you do the spiritual work the season affords as you prepare for a new beginning. I hope as Elul unfolds, you will find in these weekly posts something of value to light your way into the new year.
How to find a way into writing once again? I say to myself, as I’ve said to others for decades now, start with something small, one small thing, and patiently listen for the details to emerge. That’s how to write about large things. What will the coming year hold for us? Do I have the capacity, can I find the opportunities, to be a force for good? How do I lead with wisdom and discernment? How do I sustain my own courage?
Some who may read these words are old friends, many are unknown to me – together, over the course of the next weeks, we’ll be exploring ever-widening circles of our lives. It’s like davening in a minyan – each of us on our own, but each quietly offering companionable energy to the others. You may prefer to undertake this Elul journey solo, but let me suggest that you might want to invite a friend to write with you, to bolster your own resolve, commitment, to engage with this work, to “show up to the page.” Along the way you can discern which are stories and questions and vision you might want to share.
In these weeks there will be time to expand, to reflect, to find words, to remember the year which is coming to an end, the events and people who were most important, to look back on them and puzzle out – What happened? Who was I in that moment? How did I turn that moment for the good? Or not? What needs attention, perhaps healing, in my closest relationships? There will be time to look inward and time to look outward – How am I living in my body? Who am I in my community/ies, who do I want to be? Do my day to day actions and occupations reflect my values, encourage my passion? How am I engaged in the world? What do I want to give, how do I want to help and participate in healing? Prompts aplenty – enough to choose one a day; and don’t fret when you miss a day. As I am grateful for these words I’ve written, grateful to find my center again and the capacity to connect to it, I hope you will rest in gratitude for whatever words come through you.
One final word: In anticipation of using these materials and finding them valuable, please make an appropriate donation to Derekh - you can find the Donate link at the top of the page.
My immeasurable gratitude to Rabbi Lisa Feld for her generous technical and editorial assistance in helping me offer these materials to you while balancing her own preparation to lead her congregants on the Yamim Noraim.
A few suggestions –
Though many of you will prefer writing on your laptop or other devices, consider writing by hand. Computers go quickly, quickly; this writing is all about slowly, slowly, and writing by hand may help to slow you down and be more reflective. Both modes have worked for me.
When you are sitting with the prompt, listen carefully. This writing is all about listening – listening to yourself.
Often the first response that comes to mind is the most fruitful. Just relax and go with it even if you think it is odd.
Through long experience leading others in writing, I’d say 10 minutes is more or less the most fruitful amount of time to sit with a prompt and write. If you run out of steam sooner, you probably haven’t mined as deeply as you can, so try circling the prompt and coming at it again. Or, if you’re on a roll after 10 minutes, follow the rich vein you’ve uncovered.
As you write, capture as clearly and precisely as you can what is true for you – no artifice, no disguises.
Be specific, concrete; better to tell one story and go deep with it than to generalize or to skim over multiple examples.
Be on the lookout for strong images that come up, meaningful details. Be curious; follow the image and explore it even if you don’t quite understand why it’s important or where it is going.
Write in your first language; that is the best way to make a heart-connection through words.
Once you are done writing, take a breath, read what you have written. Do not criticize or judge – these are words from your heart that need to be valued, cherished and respected.
You may want to write down any questions that the writing has sparked for you. You can return to those questions at another time for reflection and/or for continued writing.
In some way, acknowledge to yourself the courage and openness you have brought to this work.
Prompts for Week 1
This first week centers on the self – when do I feel most alive? How have I been challenged and grown this year? How do I cultivate my inner life? engage in self-care?
~ Recall a situation, conjure an image of a time this past year when your best, fullest self was being expressed, when you felt good about who you are. Maybe it was a public moment, an achievement, a story of risk or leadership, or maybe it was something small, subtle, a private moment only you were aware of, something shifting deep inside… Tell the story, describe the situation, letting the details return to you in all their fullness….
follow-up – Now reflect on why/how the best part of you came out in that situation. What did you do to make that happen? Were there other people or conditions that supported that flowering? How might you call forth that more fully realized, enlivened “you” more often in the coming year?
[Note: It can be fruitful to repeat this prompt, exploring a different moment, a different situation.]
~ What has been one particular challenge this year? What was hard about it for you? How have you grown, changed because of it? What new aspects or potentiality has it called forth from you?
~ How did you live in your body this year? Are there ways in which your body has been a source of delight? disappointment? strength? pain? Tell the story. What do you need moving forward?
~ How have you cared for yourself this year? What kinds of activities have you been able to savor? Think expansively: it might be a time when you went walking on a nature trail, called together a circle of close friends to create a ritual for some liminal life event, did a good job of saying “no.” How did you manage it? How did it feel? Or, describe how you allowed yourself a special afternoon or day or days to relish some longed-for place or time or experience.
follow-up – Make a list of all the ways you nourish yourself – things you do every day, things you do sometimes, rarely. Read your list over, notice what you’d like to increase. What is your attitude toward self-care and what kinds of self-care are you hungry for?
~ Begin a conversation with yourself – “What are some of the questions I need to be asking myself in this season of turning in order to move toward a healthier, holier, happier life?”
[Note - My intention for this program is to offer you a wide menu from which to choose, so if one of these prompts feels like “a full-course meal” all by itself, give yourself permission to spend the week delving into that particular prompt, each time encountering it anew and writing about a different experience. In other words, make yourself at home and use these materials as is best for you!]
Blessings to you on your journey! “See you” next Wednesday for Elul week 2.