Week 2

Welcome to the second week of our month-long writing workshop. Let me suggest that you take another look at last week’s post to solidify support for your writing.

As I look ahead to the next three weeks, I want to remind you of what’s coming down the pike: This week centers on relationships – to family, dear friends. Next week will focus on tikkun olam – when has that need ever been more urgent in our lifetimes? Our fourth and final week will explore the High Holiday liturgy.

The starting point of this work begins with you – for once, really putting yourself at the center, listening to yourself to ultimately find nourishment, insight, strength. We’ve started with the personal and will keep widening the lens, especially as you and your communities wrestle with cries for racial justice, vast inequities of resources and opportunity, and the lingering deep pain of unimaginable pandemic loss.  This is what we all are balancing.  As I’ve labored to prepare these materials for you, and as you work to prepare yourselves and your communities, I am heartened by an insight I achieved in a recent therapy session, and which I wrote in very large letters and left prominently on my study desk: NOTHING NEEDS TO BE PERFECT.

Further, if I may presume, as a mentor to a generation or two of clergy, and as a poet and educator who regularly addresses large audiences, I understand your terrors of, What will I say to them on the High Holidays? and, What if I come up empty-handed this year? and, I myself feel so depleted… I recognize those fears, but most relevant and important at the moment, I offer you these next thoughts as a Jew in the pew, who hopes to hear something nourishing and/or wise from those rabbis who minister to me. And at the very core of that hope lies the recognition that what comes from the heart reaches to the heart. When one of my rabbis tells a story from their own life, and offers me the sacred wisdom culled from that personal excavation, that is the deepest dvar of all for me. Yes, from those seeds also often grow traditional texts and insights, and I greatly value those as well, but such teaching can only begin and be mined from personal meaning. Which is why I work so hard to create an atmosphere where you can find those profound stories from your own lives, because embedded in them are precisely the life-giving connections your congregants yearn for. By attending to your own emotional needs first in these weeks, you will naturally come to find what it is you need to give over.

May your depleted spirits find renewal in this writing and in the true sharing among colleagues also reaching for their own courage and strength. May this early summer work offer the nourishment you need and may it be a hallmark of your day-to-day life and spiritual practice in the coming year.


Week 2 prompts (Remember this is a menu from which to make selections – be attentive to what jumps out at you and start there.)

1~ I believe that this first prompt will yield much which is important and valuable to ponder ~ I’d suggest coming back to it again, and then again. 

Remember/tell the story of a special moment this past year, one of deep connection, a moment when you felt nourished, blessed by the relationship with a loved one, or shared a sacred moment with someone surprising, when you felt full of rejoicing, praising God: What were the circumstances, the details, of that relational moment?

follow-up – Reflect on that experience – what did you do to help make that happen? How might you be attentive to creating more such moments in the coming year? What are the life lessons to be gleaned here?

2~ Think of your family and closest friends: are you conscious of ways in which you may have harmed one of them, caused them pain this year, fallen short of the mark?  How?  Choose just one person to focus on: what is the regret or guilt you feel toward this person?  What do you want the relationship to be like?  What can you do to make amends, how do you need to change, turn? 

Why just one? Because this is a year in which we have all been pushed to the limit and way beyond, so you need to feel commanded to forgive yourself as much as possible, release guilt, show yourself kindness, tenderness. Contemplating just one “falling short of the mark” gives you enough material to learn from it without inducing shame, self-loathing.

3 ~ Has anyone aggrieved you this year? Focus on a particular person who has caused you harm. How did they hurt you?  Do you want to continue this relationship, and if so, what do you want the relationship to be like? What do you need from them to support repair?  Is there something you can do to help bring about that change, healing, justice, reconciliation?

follow-up – Perhaps that won’t be possible, perhaps not even appropriate – if so, how might you find some modicum of acceptance or peace and move on?

4 ~ To whom do you feel grateful this year? Who has gently shown you compassion – a word, an embrace, a sign of appreciation or support? Remember and describe the goodness of others who have helped you through the year. How might you show your gratitude?

5 ~ Recall also your own goodness this past year – what are special kindnesses you have shown to others? How can you cultivate that inner goodness as you go forward? Think back to one of last week’s prompts about self-care and know that kindness to one’s self increases the capacity to be tender with others.

6 ~ Most difficult of all in reviewing a year coming to an end is having lost a loved one. Navigating the mourning process can be like struggling to survive a tempestuous sea without a sextant or compass.  Much of my poetry dives deep into such pain, rage, grief, brokenness. For me, it is such writing, support from loving others, and time itself, which have helped to move me toward understanding, acceptance, healing. Here are just three modest prompts – What is unfinished business you may have with this person? How and with whom might you resolve some of what is unfinished? What might you like to tell them today?  What of this person do you want to carry forward with you into the new year?

Blessings on your journey.

Week 1

I’m excited and humbled to begin this spiritual work with you and with the five dear colleagues who will be helping you to navigate and draw nourishment from the next four weeks together. I welcome you with gratitude and a shehecheyanu.

I sit here in my study in Western Massachusetts, quiet, peaceful, only the sound of cars going by, lush green outside the windows, poppies beginning to miraculously unfold in my little garden. I blink in disbelief that it is June, 2021. We share the reality that we have survived. Some of the vast costs of this plague time are already known to us, others I suspect will continue to emerge over months and years. I try to imagine what pandemic and quarantine have been for you, your loved ones, your communities. To imagine where you are, what you have heard and seen, what you have mourned and still mourn, what new life, hope, justice, freedom you have been blessed to witness, work to birth and grow. Some of you are old friends of mine, many unknown to me – together, over the course of the next four weeks, we’ll be exploring ever-widening circles of our lives. It’s like davening in a minyan – each of us on our own, and then in small circles tenderly offering companionable energy to the others.

In these weeks there will be time to expand, to reflect, to find words, to remember the year which is coming to an end, the events and people who were most important, to look back on them and puzzle out, discern – What happened? Who was I in that moment? How did I turn that moment for the good? Or not? What needs attention, perhaps healing, in my life, in my closest relationships, in the circles of my worlds? There will be time to look inward and time to look outward – How am I living in my body?  Who am I in my community/ies, who do I want to be?  Do my day to day actions, occupations, reflect my values, encourage my passion?   How am I engaged in the larger world?  What do I want to give, how do I want to help and participate in a wider healing?  Prompts aplenty – tackle no more than one a day, please!

This first week centers on the self – when do I feel most alive? How have I been challenged and grown this year? How do I cultivate my inner life? engage in self-care?

And so, we begin! 

 A few suggestions –

If you possibly can, write by hand, even if that feels very unfamiliar to you – computers go quickly, quickly, they are cerebral instruments; this writing is all about slowly, slowly, opening the flow from heart to hand. Please try, but if it just won’t work for you, feel free to use your laptop.

When you are sitting with the prompt, listen carefully.  This writing is all about listening – listening to yourself.

Often the first response that comes to mind is the most fruitful.  Just relax and go with it even if you think it is odd.

As you write, capture as clearly and precisely as you can what is true for you – no artifice, no disguises. 

Be specific, concrete; better to tell one story and go deep with it than to generalize or to skim over multiple examples.

Be on the lookout for strong images that come up, meaningful details. Be curious; follow the image and explore it even if you don’t quite understand why it’s important or where it is going.

Write in your first language; that is the best way to make a heart-connection through words. 

Once you are done writing, take a breath, read what you have written.  Do not criticize or judge – these are words from your heart that need to be valued, cherished and respected.

You may want to write down any questions that the writing has sparked for you.  You can return to those questions at another time for reflection and/or for continued writing. 

In some way, acknowledge to yourself the courage and openness you have brought to this work.

 

Prompts for Week 1

1~ Recall a particular situation, conjure an image of a time this past year when your best, fullest self was being expressed.  Maybe it was a public moment, an achievement, a story of risk or leadership, or maybe it was something small, subtle, a private moment only you were aware of, something shifting deep inside…  Tell the story, describe the situation, letting the details return to you in all their fullness….

[This is a good prompt to return to, exploring another, different story, and then another.]

 follow-up – Now reflect on why/how the best part of you came out in that situation.  What did you do to make that happen?  Were there other people or conditions that supported that flowering? How might you call forth that more fully realized, enlivened “you” more frequently in the coming year?

[We too often torment ourselves by playing and replaying the loops of failures, shortcomings, should-haves and what-ifs; dare yourself to cultivate instead the practice of playing/replaying shining moments of stretching and soul-soaring.] 

2~ Begin a conversation with yourself – What do I need? What are the longings I have been forced to silence, quiet, repress in this difficult year? How can I move toward a healthier, holier, happier life? What are some of the questions I want to be attentive to, want to be asking myself as I move toward the season of turning?

3~ What has been one particular challenge/sorrow/heartbreak this year? If you can, if you choose to, gently open it and record it, write it down, for yourself. What happened? What was so hard? How has this experience changed you? Have you grown? how? What new aspects or potentiality has it called forth from you? Have you begun yet to heal? What would healing look like? What/who might help with that healing? Can you imagine/are there others who might help you to create a ritual, who might witness and support your moving toward peace?

[Please, choose and focus on just one story: if it feels helpful to you, you can respond to this prompt more than once.]  

4~ How have you cared for yourself this year? While that has been much harder for many of us to arrange, commit to, follow through, it has perhaps never before been as crucial. What kinds of activities have you still been able to savor? Think expansively: it might be a time when you went walking on a nature trail, tried finger-painting, did a good job of saying “no.”  How did you manage it?  How did it feel?  Or, describe how you allowed yourself a special afternoon or day or days to relish some longed-for place or time or experience.

follow-up – Make a list of all the ways you nourish yourself – things you do every day, things you do sometimes, rarely. Read your list over, notice what you’d like to increase.  What is your attitude toward self-care and what kinds of self-care are you hungry for? 

5~ How did you live in your body this year? Are there ways in which your body has been a source of delight? disappointment? strength? pain? Tell the story.  What do you need moving forward?

Note - My intention for this program is to offer you a wide menu from which to choose, so if one of these prompts feels like “a full-course meal” all by itself, give yourself permission to spend the week delving into that one particular prompt, gleaning what you need. In other words, make yourself at home and use these materials as is best for you!

Blessings to you on your journey!

Reflect, Recover, Recenter: Readying for the Days of Awe

Welcome to the Clergy Writing Circles workshop. I’m excited to offer you what I hope will be intimate communities of care, support and nourishment, to be held in safety by Derekh Associates and the other colleagues in your writing circle.  To support and facilitate your soul-work and self-care, I will be emailing you a new set of writing prompts each Sunday from June 13 through July 4, stirring your memory and helping you to begin the summer with a process of gentle turning as you move toward the Yamim Noraim.

The individual writing you will do over the course of each week and the sharing within groups will allow you to dig deep, looking back on the year which is ending and reflecting on how you lived in the year, discerning what can be learned from high moments and painful moments, and then mindfully visioning how you might continue becoming in the year ahead, aligning your day-to-day life with the center of who you are.

Let me also say that while the primary focus of this writing is exploring your own inner life, those clergy who have worked with me over the years know well that their personal seeking is precisely the source of their deepest teaching.  Therefore, I hope this writing will have a secondary value in perhaps uncovering or sparking ideas, words, stories that you will decide to share with those whom you lead, in the form of divrei Torah, sermons, thoughtful congregational discussions.

Advice – in advance of Sunday June 13, buy a new notebook, one with pages large enough to stretch out thoughts and feelings. Why a notebook? Why write by hand? I’ll explain that along the way.

Each week you will receive a variety of prompts – you may write on just one prompt or all, you may write once or twice during the week or each day – the choice is yours. You may want to do this writing solo, or perhaps, as a supplement to your writing circle, you may decide to choose as chevrusa a friend or colleague with whom to process, to listen and be heard.

May this early summer writing be a source of rich introspection and self-exploration for you.  Blessings to you on this journey.